Help me!!...Please read this before reading the silver hawks

This is just the first draft, just wanted to pen down an idea I had and this is how it has started to shape up. I don’t know if it is worth the effort or even if it is worth reading once, but I do wish to complete this, though frankly, that might take ages. What I have done here is just introduced my primary characters with a little backdrop to the story. If even one person is able to grasp the characters as I perceived them, well, ill be more than glad.

This isn’t the first chapter in its full but the basic essence is there.

Feel free to tell me I suck at this, but please also tell me ways to improve the story, help me with this, and yes, this is my first shot at writing anything, so please be a little merciful